Saturday, February 20, 2016

The Peace at Emerald Pond

I would like to preface this post. I have done only minor editing to the content. If you find any grammatical errors, please e-mail me at rileyrspear@gmail.com

Once upon a time there was a small village that lay at the head of the Twin Split Rivers. To its back rose the saw jaw mountain range. It was a quiet village and the citizens for the most part were friendly and kind to each other. They rarely had visitors because the rivers ran away from the village, and the climb over the mountains was always treacherous except for one month on the summer. This month was designated the month of sharing, because travelers and traders, storytellers and entertainers would come from across the globe to visit the Riverhead Village. They brought with them their best clothes and trinkets, shared their best stories and performances, all for the opportunity to drink from the Emerald Pond that was believed to bring the village such peace.
New visitors always were amazed by the exchanges that happened because it was the children of the village that were in charge of who could partake from the pond. The travelers would try to engage the adults to see if they could discover the cause behind bizarre method, but their answer was always the same, "the children of this village have always unlocked peace, we can't change that." So the travelers would continue to trade with and perform for the children. The children always had for those fortunate enough to partake from the pond one rule, they could come and view the pond, but only the children could draw water from it. They could be monitored the whole time, but when the foreigners were ready to drink, the children would request an audience alone with the stranger. Day in and day out through the month of sharing travelers would visit and the children would share with them the clear green water.
One day, a man who heard legends of the pond can with a new invention, a cart that could hold vast quantities of liquids. He shared it with the children and asked if he might fill it up with the peaceful jade water. The children declined the man's request because only they could draw from the pond, and only they could administer the water. Attempting to persuade them otherwise, he promised that he would follow all procedures they required of him, and hopefully he could bring more people to the village after they had partaken of the water from his cart. Again, they refused him, but they saw the value and merit the man had put into his invention and invited him to partake from the water himself.
Upon hearing the invitation the man formed a plan. He would watch the children draw from the water and he would follow what they did exactly, but in the dead of night, as everyone was asleep. The moment came, and he watched them, committing every step, every tool, and every path they used to memory. As he sat with the children, waiting to partake of the water he studied the ceremony carefully, analyzing the smallest detail that he might perform it with exactness.After drinking the water, the children ran up to him and embraced him, thanked him for making the journey, and asked for him to return whenever he like, because now he was a member of the Riverhead Village and he would always have a home there.
As night came, the man awoke and snuck to the pond that was completely unguarded. He drew water from it until his entire cart was full. He quickly left the village, convincing himself that it was excitement to share the water with others that hastened his departure.
He stopped in at the first village that he came to and tapped the cart for the first cool draft of water from the legendary Emerald Pond. He informed the villagers of the opportunity to partake of the water. Many came and he was quickly overwhelmed and quickly the ceremony of sharing the water was taught to another adult of the village, and another, and another. The water was shared with anyone who was able to present something they deemed worthy of it.
Soon members of the village began to argue with each other about the methods of sharing the water and if it was truly the exact same as that of the Riverhead Village. The adults that had learned it from the man started asking questions on what was really worthy of the water and if the cost should be more. Fights and quarrels quickly came as people from other villages visited the man. Some of the visitors were quickly thrown out, but not to be deterred by the other adults of the village, they would return more stubborn than before. The quarrels quickly became battles between groups and the battles soon turned to war.
The man, seeing what chaos the water caused opened the cask and let the water freely flow onto the ground, ridding the combatants of the prize for which the war was fought. Rather than end the war, this incited the groups to even greater anger and hate. They cast him out in the late autumn. The man had nowhere to turn to but the Riverhead Village, because he remembered them saying he was always welcome to return. Repenting in his heart for stealing the water, he resolved to make amends for his actions and plead for the forgiveness of the village.
The passageway to the village was completely blocked, leaving the man to climb the saw jaw range to hope for entry into the village.
After a week trekking through the snow and bitter cold, the man finally found the village and stumbled upon the steps of the ceremony house.
The children were the first to see the man and immediately brought him their favorite blankets to help warm him. Others brought him their trinkets and toys they had traded for months earlier to help comfort the man. They brought him inside where there adults had prepared a fire and a warm meal. The man began to weep at the immediate kindness shown to him and begged for the forgiveness of the village.
Instantly he was swarmed by children holding him, crying with him, as he choked out his apology. The room was full of tears as an elderly man asked for the meal and the warm blankets brought into a private room where he could speak with the guilt stricken man.
A new fire was lit and the meal was brought into the room so the man could eat as the elder spoke. "My name is Terrin, and I believe it is time you knew the secret of the peace we share with others." The path worn man looked up, hopeful that he could figure out what he had done wrong. "The children have brought you their most valued toys to help comfort you, and have the brought you comfort?" The man looked at a small doll that he had unwittingly held. It felt hundreds of times heavier in his hand now, knowing that a small girl had given it to him so he could be comforted. "Yes... And no...." The man confessed.
The stranger felt the blankets on his back, and held the doll in his hands. It was a nice doll, but it wasn't a great doll, definitely not a doll worth peace. He removed the blanket from his back and noticed that it was thin, very thin, and that the materials were mediocre at best. He looked at every item around him, and noticed a huge variation in the quality and craftsmanship of each item. Some belonged in a palace while others couldn't be expected to be found in the most desperate hovels. Terrin watched the man study the items, noting the differences between them. Finally, Terrin broke the silence. "Do you believe me when I say that the children have brought you their best toys?" "Absolutely." The man stated. The earnest children had been the ones to rush to his rescue. They had notified the adults; they had held him and cried with him as he laid his crime before them. He felt the love that could only come from a sincere heart, and these small hearts were absolutely sincere.
"The peace that others receive here is not because they drink of our waters, but it is because they also bring the best they have to offer. Many take a year to create something they hope to be worthy of the water so that they can trade for it, but many miss the fact that in so doing, they become better themselves. As the refine their work, they refine their character, and they then come to present that to us, but not to us adults; to the children." The doll the man held now took a new light. This doll wasn't of great value because of the material, but because of whoever made it. "You need to understand, my friend, that the children of this village don't have very much. The weather is harsh, leaving very little land to help us farm. The village is too high for many large animals, so we are kept to small creatures that make meat a rare treat. All we have is a pond that holds green water. But peace doesn't come from that pond. It comes from the individual. Think back to when you presented your cart to the children. Did they want the item?"
"No" the man said. "But they let you drink from the water, didn't they?" "Yes." More questions now flooded the man. They didn't want the item, they didn't care for the item, but they let him drink from the Emerald Pond. "Why did they let me drink from the pond if they didn't want my cart?" the man asked, confused and concerned. "Because you wanted them to have it. Through your whole life, what have you made that has surpassed your cart?"
"Nothing." "So you presented them with your best, is that right?" "Yeah, I did, I really did." "That is all that matters. That is why the children are the judges. We've seen items just like your cart before, some much better than yours. Because I've seen this, I'd judge you by your item, not by who you are. The children can appreciate anything as long as the person presenting it to them is genuine and sincere enough. Then they get to do something very special to them. They get to share their greatest treasure with others. That water isn't special, it's the fact that others believe it is special makes the children so happy to share it."
"The visitors are at peace because what they have spent the last year on has been accepted by others, so in affect, they have been accepted. The children are at peace because they get to know and share their most prized possession with others. Peace can't be taken, as you attempted to do, it can only come with the act of giving." Tears streamed down the younger man's face. "But I wanted to give it away." He stated. "When you took the water, when you left the village, were you at peace?" "No..." "When you were giving it away, did you charge people for it?" "I had them bring items to trade." "But did they bring their best?" "No." "No. They didn't, they only had to bring what was 'good enough.' Peace can never be purchased so cheaply. It takes something that you pour yourself into, your heart, your soul, and then to have that something accepted, means that you are accepted. When we find something that is 'good enough' it is not our own, and whether or not someone else likes it, that doesn't mean that we are accepted if the gift is accepted." Terrin walked over to the younger man and sat down with him.
"I'm also a stranger to this village. I came here when I was only 7 years old to see and partake of the legendary Emerald Pond." Terrin's eyes drifted to the wall, seeing something in the distance visible only to him. "My family was part of an acrobatics act. We were very excited to perform for the children. When we arrived, the children swarmed me first, excited to meet me because travelers were rarely as young as I was at that time. Before we could even perform, I was friends with many of them."
"They loved our show, and instantly invited us to partake of the sacred waters. It was requested that I first partake of the water. They had drawn only enough for one person, and I looked to my parents, curious if it was OK that I partake first. They smiled and nudged me to the ceremony room, just outside those doors." Terrin nodded to the doors that led to the cold mountains outside. "I went in by myself and the children excitedly gave me the water. Never had there been so many children at one of the ceremonies. I was nervous as the brought me the cup, I spilt some on the floor, but they didn't care. After I drank from it, they again surrounded me with hugs and caring words. Complimenting my performance and letting me know that I would always have friends in the village. Every child knew my name, and I was special to them."
"After they embraced me, they asked something I couldn't imagine. They asked if I would like to draw from the pond and if I would like to give it to my parents. I nervously declined, knowing how special the water was I didn't want to mess it up. A young girl, almost five, hugged me and told me she had spilt the water many times, and to not worry about it. What mattered was that I would be able to give something special to my parents. Those that taught me everything I knew, that shared with me everything they had. I could finally give something to them that they never had before." Tears swelled in Terrin's eyes. The young man didn't know why, but he took the blanket off of his own shoulders and gave it to Terrin. Terrin accepted the blanket, thanking him. The man sat back down to hear the rest of the story.
"I walked to the Emerald Pond and drew carefully from the water. I came back to the room before my parents had been invited in. I set down the bucket and sat beside it waiting for my parents to join me. When the doors swung open, my parents looked around, almost worried, as if something had happened to me. But then they saw me by the bucket and knew that I would be the one to give them the water. Tears ran down their face as I brought both of them the cups, and I got to share that peace with them. Then the children ran to us, with hugs and laughter. We were there, we were part of something more than just our performance. We were part of that peace." The visitor was warm now, but the food had become irrelevant, the toys had been carefully set aside, and he sat there, openly weeping at the thought of such peace. He remembered the peace he felt when the children likewise hugged him and told him he was a part of their village.
"The children asked us to stay with them a little longer, mostly so they could play with me, but they invited my parents to get to know the adults in the village as well. It was an offer we couldn't decline. We traveled so often, we had nothing more than our small wagon to call home. We set up camp just on the outskirts of the village, close enough so the village could see us and us them. Every morning I would rush to meet the other children and every evening they would walk back to my wagon with me. I frequently brought back something that a child had given me. And I helped show them all of the acrobatics I could
"We gave each other everything we had, and there was always enough for ourselves. We didn't worry about what we wanted, because we worried about what could benefit another. But it was an early winter, and we missed our chance to leave the village. I told you earlier that food is hard to get in this village, and with a short harvest season, hunger soon became commonplace. Acrobatic lessons stopped, and I came home with less and less food every day. We waited out the winter, eating anything we could get our hands on, including the very wagon's wood we were using for shelter.
"The thing is, we knew the whole village was suffering because everyone was still sharing everything they had. It was impossible to accept the food from someone without knowing they would go hungry in return, but you accepted it anyway because they wanted you to have the best they could offer. One day, a man came to our wagon with a small bag. It only had a loaf of bread and some almost rotten vegetables in it. He apologized, saying he didn't have anything else to share with us, and he wished he had more to give us. We gratefully accepted the gift, and silenced his apologies because it was the most food we had in two weeks. He hugged us and walked back to his house. We naively thought that he gave us everything he could spare, but he gave us everything he had! He pass away a week later because his last meal filled our bellies. We barely survived that winter, and without that man I'm positive we wouldn't have. I thought for a long time I was a bad person because it didn't bother me that he passed from giving us food, but then I realized it. He gave us his best, and so he was at peace. He knew he would pass but also knew that what he had could help others. He gave us more than we could've asked for.
"So ask yourself, you brought your cart to fill up with water so you could give that magic water to others so that they could feel peace, but we know from the war raging between the villages that the water wasn't the answer. This time, you've brought an empty heart ready to fill with peace, just like this village has, and now you can truly share it."
Terrin turned to the man, gave him a hug, stood up and left the room. He closed the door behind him letting the man ponder on his thoughts and the stories he had just heard. 'What I would give to have that kind of peace' the man thought. Then again, 'What I would give to have that PEACE.' rang in his head, but is sounded wrong. He thought about it again and again and again, until finally it made sense to him. 'What I would GIVE to have that peace...'

Friday, December 11, 2015

3 Ways to Win with LinkedIn

Being known as the "professional's" social media, LinkedIn seeks to connect you to people you don't know. Your profile is meant to be a place where you can brag about yourself. Put up your experiences, jobs, education, even skills where others can endorse you. LinkedIn has effectively created a platform where you are meant to show off while simultaneously not seeming arrogant.

The catch?

Everyone makes it about them. The problem is that so many people us
e it as a self-marketing platform and have not given it the social aspect that it is meant for. This is how you can stand out on a site where you've already bragged about yourself.

Like and Comment on Others' Posts


This platform is not about competition. Just because you like, comment, compliment, or encourage someone else doesn't mean that you've given up an opportunity. The idea is to get others to connect you with those that they already know. A great way for them to generate interest in you is for you to show interest in them. Join groups that you're interested in, and find ways to genuinely participate with others.

Post Something to Help a Group


Yes, you might be all about saving the whales, so you join the Environmental Empathy Engagement Group. Great! If all you post are ways to save the whales, you're stagnant and you aren't helping the group. Look for what others might be interested in and post something for them. This doesn't mean research something for them that they might not need, this means already knowing them and posting something you come across that might help them. Make it genuine, not manipulative.

Go From Group to 1 on 1


As you follow the first two steps, others will begin to comment and participate with your posts. This isn't because you picked the perfect post for "Mr. Bossofmynextjob." It's because you've helped create an environment where others look outside themselves and are participating. When this happens, start the 1 on 1 conversations. This is where people get to know the person behind the resume. A person can look great on paper, but that doesn't mean that you're a good fit for their company. Get that personal interaction so when they introduce you, they can honestly say that you are a "friend, acquaintance, collegue, etc."

These connections and friendships are no different than real connections. For those beginning to network, City of Influence by Jared and Sarah Stewart is a must read.

Being LinkedIn is more than just having a digital connection with the individual, it's actually connecting with the individual. Focus on that, and your network will first grow larger, then stronger, then larger again.

Monday, December 7, 2015

It's Ironic on Purpose

I love the title of my blog, so let me explain why. The One Man Difference totes the ability of one person to do extraordinary things. It believes in changing the world right now with the efforts of one person. The paradox is that there is no way to change the world without working with others.

Martin Luther King Jr. was an incredible man who inspired change that is still felt today, but he wasn't alone. The March on Washington had roughly 250,000 people in attendance. Although he was one man, and he had the ability to create change, it was those around him that made that change stick.

Gandhi advocated for freedom for India and was a lawyer, a leader of the Indian National Congress, and led countless peasants, farmers, leaders, and urban laborers against the injustices imposed on them. He was an advocate of "Self-rule," but the change that he made in the world depended on the choices of others as well.

For lasting change to happen in any group of people, those people have to willingly change what they want. Anything else creates rebellion, distrust, contention, hatred, grudges. No man can shout loud enough to make the world listen. But a community that sings the same chorus will be able to reach every heart.

The One Man Difference is all about your personal efforts, your personal struggles, your personal viewpoints, you as a person. It is not about anything else. There will not be a list of how to be in 3 places at once here, there will not be a "how to make them change" here. This is a blog that will touch on the difference one person can make, but it is one person who has support from others. It is the story of what one person did and why people followed them.

Now comes the danger. We begin to see people as ways to get what we want, not as the people we want to help. If you want to see one reason why this is a bad idea, feel free to visit my previous post. A great book that talks about seeing people as vehicles is "The Anatomy of Peace" by The Arbinger Institute.  If you use someone as a vehicle, you begin to devalue them as a person. Again, this goes back to are you helping someone, or are you using them. I'll talk more about that point soon.

Don't get me wrong, this will focus on the individual, but this post is meant to illustrate that no man is an island. Do not forget what can be done with the power and support from others.

Monday, August 10, 2015

Let's Talk About Stupid

If you've come back for more inspiration, I hope you understand that this one is a little less "we can do it" and more about "Stay away from this."

So let's talk about stupid as we try to change the world. The biggest travesty in attempting to change someone else's life is simply the fact that IT'S NOT YOUR LIFE! You don't understand what they need, like, seriously. I don't care how much you know, how much you've studied, and what all the statistics in the world are saying, it's not your life and you don't understand it as well as they do. So don't try to change their life.

Let them try to change their life and be willing to help. What most people don't like about this is that it is time intensive. It takes time for the organization to sit down and understand why the community doesn't get fresh water. It takes time for the consultant to interview individuals. IT TAKES TIME! Any quick fixes that are thrown into a community rarely stick, and even if they do, it has as much of a chance hurting the community as it does helping them. So that is stupid.

It's stupid to give shoes to African children. No, I'm not against them having shoes. I'm saying that it's stupid to give them shoes. Are all African nations so out of the loop that they've never heard of/seen shoes? I highly doubt that. So instead of saying "They don't have shoes, give them shoes," we need to ask "why don't they have shoes?" If there are no shoe stores around, it might be better to help build one and train individuals in the community to sell shoes. If they can't sell them, ask why! 

We need to stop telling and start asking. The best part of asking questions means that you have to SHUT UP to hear the answer. When you shut up and listen, you begin to value understanding their issue more than expressing your solution. For those of you who haven't heard the beautiful TED talk by Ernesto Siroli, I invite you to do so now.

It's stupid to help someone without trying to understand them. It takes time, it takes patience, it takes love. But doing that makes the biggest difference.

Friday, August 7, 2015

Shamelessness

Hey, you came back! Well,

When my friend looked at me and said "so do something about it," I knew that I had to actually get something done. The hardest part was knowing where to start. I starting talking to people about what I wanted to do, even though I didn't understand it at that moment. I didn't understand precisely how I wanted to help the world, but that didn't stop me. That shouldn't stop you.

I talked with one friend from my freshman year of college and she told me about a "nonprofit management minor" that BYU offers. I looked at it and knew that I'd be studying that. I talked to a family friend who helped out with the Four of Hearts Foundation based in Utah. Not only that, but she also runs the Lifting Hearts Foundation. I pelted them with questions asking what they did, how they did it, and many other questions.

I heard the inspiring stories of Ellie Johnson and Kara Herron. These foundations, first and foremost had their "why." This was the heart of the organization that gave the rest of it the belief and inspiration that coursed through every individual. I loved seeing how those stories were the seeds that sprouted into groups of people working together to make something better.

I devoured those stories, loved those stories, and wanted to hear more about those stories. And I still do. Now I just have enough knowledge to know what makes a good nonprofit and what makes a poor nonprofit (and yes guys, those definitely exist. I don't care if you have a bleeding heart, if your solution sucks, the organization sucks).

Now as I've made connections with many nonprofits, I continue to reach out to others and I do so shamelessly. Revive Humanity, H2O International, HEFY, and Humanitarian Expeditions are just a few that I have met with. They all have their center, their drive, and their reason for doing what they do.

Now I've begun reaching out to the Tyler Robinson Foundation (look them up and their connection to Imagine Dragons), United Way, and Centro Hispano. The scary part, I want to do a lot of this with corporate involvement. I'll be working with United way and Centro Hispano in behalf of Google. So I'm discovering there is a corporate end to nonprofit work. And guys, this is where the future of humanitarian service lies.

So now I'm reaching out to managers and executives of large companies to understand what they think about nonprofit partnerships, HOW they think about nonprofit partnerships and WHY they think of nonprofit partnerships. I think I more fully understand my place in this work, and it's on the corporate end of nonprofit work.

So this is shameless. Talk to who you WANT to, not just who you need to. And don't be afraid to get big money involved, you never know how it's going to help.

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

The Starting Line

Hi friend.

I would love to take a walk with you and discuss what I'm doing to start the one man difference, but to understand that, we need to understand how I was changed. It's a cold winter night in Vineland, NJ. I'm walking around with my mission companion visiting homes of those kind enough to receive us. We were specifically requested to meet with individuals who spoke Spanish as their primary language.

Now for those of you who don't know what it is to live in a 2 bedroom house with 3 families, (yes, 3 FAMILIES) you will have a hard time relating. I know I did. Not only that, but I heard the stories of why they felt so happy to be living in that condition because it was better than what they had before. And it hit me, it rocked me so hard and struck at me so deep that I still ponder on that night when I finally broke and exclaimed to my companion "IT SUCKS! THEY ARE SUFFERING AND I'M HERE JUST DOING WHATEVER! I WANT TO DO MORE." And he just nonchalantly looks at me and says "so do something about it."

I haven't talked to him about that incident since, and he may have a little idea of how deeply that affected me, but even if he doesn't, it doesn't matter. It made me look at something I wanted and told me that it was within my power to reach. I can do more, I can help more, I can play more, I can serve more, and I be more. So I was changed that moment, that minute for the better.

So now I'm studying nonprofit management. It's a passion of mine. Not only that, but I'm shameless in approaching foundations, organizations, and even corporations that serve the community. I'm currently working at Wayfair.com and just sent one of our executives an e-mail wanting to know more about nonprofit-corporation relations. I'm not stopping, and I'm not planning on stopping. The revolution of the nonprofit world will happen, and I hope to be at the forefront of it, because the world needs change.

I'll keep you updated on my work with Google (an internship my parents pushed on me until I actually did the smart thing and listened to them) and my Wayfair.com journey.